There’s a kind of grace that operates. And for me, at the worst moments of burnout, it seems like there’s always been somebody to call me back and to say,

"This is an opportunity for your own healing, an opportunity to connect more deeply".

I want to say to you how important you are to the fabric of wholeness on this earth. And just like you, I went into the health care professions because I cared.

I wanted to be a thread in that fabric of wholeness.  I came to a place many times of self-forgetfulness, when instead of feeling like a thread in that greater tapestry, I felt like that place where a cigarette falls on silk and burns a hole. 

And about all I could do was hold my raw edges, feeling like there wasn’t any time left for me.  Feeling so much grief over the people who died in my care, and the people whose grief I couldn’t touch, or the people whose anger was sometimes vibrant, right to the end. 

So stressed, and thinking some day, “How could it be that my job is caring for others, when I feel like I’m dying inside?”  And I just felt, “There’s something wrong with me.  I’ve gotten cynical here and I’ve forgotten my own good heart.”

And yet, I found that the very grief and despair and giving up I felt at those times have ultimately been what calls me back again to refill the chalice of my heart.  To look at my outer life and to say, what do I need to do differently here? What can I let go of so that there’s time again for joy, time again for me?

 My wish for you is that you’ll take the time to get in touch with and remember your own good heart, to let that love inside sustain you and deepen you in your work.   That you’ll do the things you need to do in your outer life so that you can take good care of yourself.

 

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