Nobody comes to the end of life perfect. 
We are after all just human.
We will die imperfect.
That’s not a failing on any of our parts.

Can we show ourselves the same mercy that we would show to another person living through this unwanted, inherently difficult time of life?

The challenge is to live with authenticity, and with integrity, and also to love.

It seems so simplistic to say that love is the answer, but on so many levels, in so many ways, it’s true.

Even the words death and dying are often confused in our language and culture.

We talk about somebody’s death when what we mean is the last months, weeks, days, sometimes hours, of their life.  Dying is a part of living. It’s rarely wanted, it’s never easy, it’s often hard.  But it is a time of living. And in addition to the arduous nature of this experience, this time can hold precious opportunity.

A relationship that has been fractured, but that ends well, that heals, sometimes even in the minutes before death, casts a healing glow on all that has preceded it. It reframes the entirety of the story of the relationship.

Have mercy, and in your acceptance of yourself, allow yourself to feel the tenderness of this time- the vulnerability, the dependency, and the return of innocence that dying represents.

If you are someone who was called to care for a loved one, someone who is seriously ill, in need of care, physically dependant, and soon to be dying, do not wonder or worry about their dignity.  Their dignity is intact.  Our challenge is to acknowledge and respect their inherent dignity during this time of physical dependence and disability.  Their frailty is not a sign of weakness nor an assault on their dignity. It is simply part of being human.

Have mercy. Please be kind to yourself. We are not called to be perfect, we are only called to be human.  That’s good enough.  

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