I. Preparation

When you enter the room of your patient
Put your hand on that doorknob
Take a deep breath
And remember why you became a healer.

What gave you meaning?
Why did you jump through all those hoops?
Through all that training?

Take a moment.
Remind yourself that you are there to serve that person.

It’s as if you take off your shoes
To respect and honor what you will find inside.

II.  Practicing Empathy & Presence

When you walk in the room look into their eyes and fully connect to them
Really enjoy your interaction
Try to feel their anxiety or their happiness
Put your full attention onto him or onto her

It’s your patient who may be feeling afraid, anxious, in deep pain, and you are the beacon of hope and of love.

Think of yourselves as partners in the midst of an environment that may be very isolating, but in that connection that the two of you form, there is no isolation, there is no fear, it’s just love.  It’s love in the broadest sense of the word. 

III.   Asking the ‘Person Questions’

You can ask the biomedical questions.  But also ask the ‘person questions’. And listen, and be present.

“Who are you today? What are your concerns today? 

I am really interested in you as a human being.
What things do you rely on when times get tough?

Are times really hard right now?

What can I do to help?

And I will take the time to listen, and be present to all of your concerns. to everything that you want to share with me.”

And if you do that I think you will really enjoy being a healer again.

IV.Benefits of Intimacy

Whatever is your role, if your patient feels connected to you, if it comes from a place of intimacy, he’s much more likely to trust, much more likely to share.

And if he shares a joke or a story, laugh with him.  Don’t be afraid to be yourself, don’t hide behind whatever clinical role you think you have. If he cries, let him cry and sit in silence with him,  holding his tears for him in the midst of that pain. Be open.  Just be with him.

Let your conversations flow between obtaining the information that you need.

But equally important, let the emotions also have their place. 

And you in turn are much more likely to be able to heal, to be able to care, to be able to make a difference.

V. Getting to Know Your Patient

So you’re looking at me right now and saying,

“ I don’t want to have these feelings.  I want to be able to get in, do my job, fix it and then leave.”

But that’s not possible.  Because you can’t fix it well if you don’t know who it is that you’re trying to fix it for.  So you need to take that breath, you need to go in there and say  “I’m going to do the very very best job I can, I’m going to use all the knowledge and skills I’ve learned, but I need to take that time to get to know my patient.”

VI.  The Difference You Make

When you leave the room, when you take a deep breath, You somehow feel lighter, because that connection with that patient not only helped him, but also helped you.

You are now a more loving, richer person, because of that few minutes of sharing. You will be able to feel fulfilled, and remember why you became a healer.  You will be carrying a part of your patient’s story in your heart forever. And as you walk out that door, you were able to use the knowledge you gained in your training, the skills you acquired, and the heart that brought you to this profession of service, to care for your patient, and to make a difference, even in that short amount of time, in that person’s life.  And when you go home, you can smile and say I did it, I made a difference in one person’s life, that’s a gift.